Wednesday, June 29, 2005

YES ! It IS hotter than HELL !

This is day #6 of 90 plus degree weather. All I see are dollar signs going out the window with our utility bill... the kid is at day camp, I hope this day goes better than last week did. I am trying to clean house... the son will be gone for a week with his friend up north. My husband and I will have one , glorious week.. ALONE !!!! Gosh... whatever shall we do.... hmmmmm...... the longest we have been away from our son is 2 nights, I wonder how WE will do ?!?

Things have settled back into the normal "rut", I'm not sure if thats a good or a bad thing.. I guess only time will tell. I am working my ass off to make sure things go well and I don't fall back into my bad habits. Hubby and I had a nice long talk about the vicious circle we fall into when things aren't going as well as we would like between the two of us.... I think we now recognize the warning signs and , hopefully can avoid another "meltdown" .

Why do people( both men AND women are guilty) hurt the ones the say they love the most ? Most of us have, at one point or another in our lives, treated strangers better than we treat our loved ones. I have tried to figure out an answer, but I can't come up with one that makes any sense at all.. anyone out there have a good explanation that they could share ? I guess that is my question of the day !

All in all... my life is going well, my son is happy, both of my daughters have found good men to love and love them in return, my grandson is done with his surgeries... my husband and I are slowly getting back to where we were.... now, if I could just win the damn lottery, my life would be perfect.. or would it ?

Thursday, June 23, 2005


Me and my husband Posted by Hello

Why do mornings come so early.....

Okay.... I wake up early, but 3AM is ridiculous ! And today I have to watch the neighbor kid all day.. yippeeeeeee.. Yesterday was my son's first day at day camp. He was NOT impressed ! He was supposed to be in the group of older kids from 9 to 12, but instead, they put him in with the 6 to 8 year olds. While the older kids got to do sports and games, he was PAINTING ! He was NOT a happy camper.. no pun intended ! HAve you ever said , or done something , that, the minute you have, you regret it ? That happened to me almost 3 weeks ago. SOmetimes I wish I thought things through better instead of letting raw emotion rule my thoughts. My husband and I hit a really bad spot a few weeks ago, and I said and did some things that I can't take back. The problem in doing that, is, it forever changes things. I am hoping in time that the events of that day receed from his memory.... and we can get back to where we were a few months ago. We have survived so many obstacles in the almost ten years we have been together. A "normal" couple probably would have folded years ago. We are still together.... I guess that has to say something about the powers of love. And I DO love my husband ! I have been married before... twice actually... and this is the first time I can honestly say I married for LOVE ! Sad huh ? He is a great man, and a wonderful Dad to our son... I am lucky to have him in my life. I hope we can .. as he always used to say..... " grow old and ugly together"... LOL !I will be 49 next month... I think its time I finally got something right in my life !!!! Ah..... my life... what a story that would be... maybe thats where I should start ... MY pursuit of life.... AND love...

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

My first posting

So...here's the deal. I have a cough. I feel like crap. And I really have no desire to be here. Besides...other than my son being upset with "camp" today, (he got stuck with the younger kids), I really have nothing to say today. But, will try again tomorrow.....