He's gone....
and there is a huge hole where my heart used to be.
He took it with him when he left.
Can't stop the tears... it's been 2 days.But only 41/2 hours since I have seen my husband. It feels like eternity.
Here are a few photos from yeterday, when denial was still in full swing. Reality jumped up and bit me in the ass today driving to the airport. I don't know how to cope. I don;t know how to console a son, who won't let me, he lays in bed and holds on to his dad's shirt and sobs his heart out. He keeps trying to call him to ask him to come home, but he can't.. and that just makes it worse.
I don't know how to help him, or deal with the extreme sense of loss I'm feeling right now. I am so lonely.
And the place where myheart used to be..... HURTS !
posted by Cynnie01 @ 9:36 PM
6 Comments:
Have you considered asking a counselor for some advice on helping your son accept the situation? Can they stay in touch daily on the computer? Once he sees he can still keep in touch with his dad it may be some comfort.It is a big world but there are ways of shrinking it when you have to.I know this is hard on you mom. Maybe as you try to make your son feel better a little will spill over onto you. He will take his cues from you as I know you already know. I really am trying to think of anything that may help you and not trying to minimize your stress.Nobody can know how much you are enduring except you. The family pictures are really nice ones.I pray you can be strong and not get crushed under the weight of these first few and probably hardest weeks. For me I would be finding comfort in my church and God. Hm,no not finding this soon, but I would start my search there.I hope you have church friends to come to your side and lift you up. My best to you and just hang on. You will get through this. debi
I think that Deb is right about the counselling. If nothing else, it could be someone for your son to vent to.
Can you keep in touch daily thru the computer? I wish that I knew what else to say, Cynnie. I will be thinking of you. Let me know how you are doing, ok?
So, How ya doing there? Thinking of you.
Glad you are feeling better.Hope your husband had a good flight. He can send you some amazing pictures. How exciting. You son can have some special things for show and tell. Thinking of you, deb
to all of you.. thank you, for your ideas and concern. yes, we talk to my husband daily through the webcams and voice chat. it helps a little, but it's not enough we have relaized. we NEVER thought it would be THIS difficult !! He has taken some pictures and I will start posting a few in my next post, whenever that is. It has only been 2 weeks and it feels like YEARS. We have a calendar on the fridge that I printed out, and cross off every day that goes by..our son looks at that all the time and counts the time remaining. This is all so very, very hard !!
Can't leave a comment on your new post for some reason. Really happy to hear you will all be together. Your son will will learn so many things and have many great adventures. Can't wait to hear all about it. My best, debi
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