Monday, August 25, 2008

I FINALLY remembered !!!!

Wow....it has been a LONG time !!
I forgot my sign in info, until I found it just today while cleaning out my desk.
whew.

So... what has been happening since... um... April ?

A lot....

My husband went to India and was let go 3 months early. yes, we are back to that same situation. Not knowing what will happen from one day to the next.
Don't get me wrong. He HAS a job... in FLorida....
But... we have NO idea when it will start... and we can't wait.
Our savings that we started after paying everyone off first... is gone.
We can't pay Septembers lease payment on our house.
I'm not sure where THAT is going to come from ( nevermind the fact that we paid my Mom back, but she insists she will not "SUPPORT US AGAIN "
HUH ?
Didn't I JUST say we paid her back ?
I wish we had ALL of that money right now.. we would be okay... until the job comes through in Oct or Nov.... or.. whenever.
Really... we would.
But... she won't "support us again"
Go figure.

I wonder where all of that money went ?
Hmmmmmm....

Because of the stress of the last nearly 16 months... constant stress... it has taken a toll on my marriage . Don't get me wrong. We love each other as much as we ever have.
But constant stress, day in, and day out.. has a funny way of doing that.
But we are struggling to maintain what is left of "us".

We aren't doing a very good job.

I miss the way things used to be. I miss my husband. I miss the laughter, the quiet times, the closeness... I miss it all.
But we are so consumed with just trying to stay afloat, to keep a roof over our heads, and food in the house, that we don't have time to nuture all the things I miss.
Does he miss them too ?
I don't know.. we don't talk.
I would like to think he does...

I really can not believe we are right back where we were 6 months ago....

And things were just starting to look bright for us...
Life has a way of kicking us right square in the teeth every time we even THINK things are going to finally go our way...

Maybe that is our first mistake.. believing that they WILL.