Sunday, March 16, 2008

It's been a while...

life has not been the same since my husband left for India. All I really live for now are the times we can speak via webcam and voice chat. found a really good program for that called skype..much better in voice quality, but not as good in video, as yahoo.
I take care of our son, who came home sick from camp.. not sure what it was, but I think it was from the food there. He came home very upset and crying, he told me that he didn;t sleep well, was made to eat food that he did not like, kept haviong a dream that when he got back from camp to the school that his DAD and myself were there to get him. Imagine his sadness to realize that it was just me.
He was not acting right at all...when I took his temp, at that time it was 101.2. Gave him some tylenol and he felt better, he asked to go out to play, and I thought maybe it was just a bad week at camp.
Anyway, it got worse from there.. by the time evening rolled around, his fever was 103.4, he was crying about throwing up, had diarrhea and was just miserable. He finally fell asleep.. on the half bathroom floor. I made him up a bed because he didn't want to move, and was up all night checking on him every half hour or so.
In the morning on Saturday, he was mUCH better, but still had a slight fever and diarrhea. After talking to him for a bit, he mentioned how , at camp, they had a rule about not wasting food. if you didn't eat ALL the food they gave you, you got written up. On the last day of camp, a counselor gave him a apple to eat that was brown and mushy, he did not want to eat it but was told he HAD to. When he cut it open, he said it looked like it had red threads running through it. About 2 hours after that is when he started feeling sick.

I am calling the school tomorrow to get some answers about this... because right now I am livid !!! Just when did we go back in time to Hitler's era ? They came around every night and shined a flashlight ine ach kids eyes to make sure they were asleep, if they weren't.. they got written up, and when they got written up, they had some kind of "punishment or other". This is what our son said.. so I need to keep that in mind too.. but I STILL want answers.

My husband is now also sick with montezuma's revenge. Apparently all of the office staff that ate what he did at the staff meeting on Saturday got it too. I said well.. thats what you get for eating catered food that you don't know where it came from silly !! He assured me he would NOT make that mistake again.. LOL.. I really believe him !

Now.. how am I doing...
well.. not good. Not good at all. It is not getting any better for any of us. In fact, it seems to be getting worse. I am still not sleeping well.. I catch bits and pieces of sleep when I can't keep my eyes open any longer, but usually thats only a hour or two at a time. I am not eating much, I can go days without real food. Example.. in 3 days time all I had was a cheeseburger from McDonalds, and I THINK some green beans. I know I need to take better care of myself, but I really have no appetite.

And finally...
The company has asked my husband to extend his stay out to at least a year. After talking to me, and deciding that it would be a VERY good move , career-wise, I agreed.
So... it appears that our son and myself will be moving to India for a year to 15 months ( we want our son to finish out his school year there, at the American school for children of expatriots). We are thinking we will be home in June of 2009.We have done extensive research, found very good health care, a nice place to live ( although ridiculously expensive ( more than 10,000 US per month ) ), there is a western grocery store... all of my husbands paychecks , except for 2 bills we will still have, and whatever the difference in rent will be from what the company allows and what the actual rent is ( we don't know that part yet ). SO financially it makes sense too.
The idea of moving to a 3rd world country does not thrill me, but he assures me if we are careful ( food-wise) we will be just fine. Mumbai is not as bad as everyone believes.
There are a few stories I have to share, but I will save those for another time. One involes several company employees being " on the take".. my husband and his co-worker were on the recieving end of that one. It has created a shit-storm within the company and they have launched a internal investigation on the goings-on in the Dheli office. But it looks like at least ONE person and possibly even the head individual for construction in all of India are in on it, and the one individual and possibly both are on the way OUT the door.Stay tuned on that one...

All I DO know is that my family is torn apart right now, none of us, including my husband, are doing very well with this. And we need to rectify this as soon as we can.

I miss my husband more each day...

Sunday, March 02, 2008

He's gone....



and there is a huge hole where my heart used to be.
He took it with him when he left.

Can't stop the tears... it's been 2 days.But only 41/2 hours since I have seen my husband. It feels like eternity.
Here are a few photos from yeterday, when denial was still in full swing. Reality jumped up and bit me in the ass today driving to the airport. I don't know how to cope. I don;t know how to console a son, who won't let me, he lays in bed and holds on to his dad's shirt and sobs his heart out. He keeps trying to call him to ask him to come home, but he can't.. and that just makes it worse.
I don't know how to help him, or deal with the extreme sense of loss I'm feeling right now. I am so lonely.
And the place where myheart used to be..... HURTS !