Okay God.. when is enough, enough ?
ok.. i know the saying, God only gives us what we can handle... but enough is enough already !!!!SHE has started more crap that pissed off my husband..
and now, we got a call today, RIGHT before Christmas no less, that my brother was arrested and is facing extradition to Michigan for back child support. Now, I know what you are all thinking... and I agree, he should have been paying all along. Right. However, the bitch from hell he calls his ex wife, has been refusing for the last 10 years , visitation. She conveniently would nt be home or would say the kids were sick.. Hell.. I haven't seen them since they were 18 months and 6 months, and the youngest one I have never even met. She won't allow any of my brothers family to see them either. He finally gave up, and moved to Florida 9 years ago... where he has been ever since. They just NOW found him ? I am not sure what is going to happen, but it will be at least 2 weeks before hes extradited, and then I am sure he will spend several more weeks in jail here.
I was looking forward to his yearly Christmas visit.. just a little something hopeful to hang on to, and even THAT has been taken away.
I think God is punishing me for something, I just haven't figured out what yet.
I rarely see my brother. Once a year... at Christmas.
And as far as SHE is concerned... well.. now shes spouting all this BULL SHIT about how she has been "studying" Judiasm for a " great many years " .. BULL SHIT AGAIN... she only became interested when she met my husband, who happens to be Jewish. She started spouting about how GOD died for us.. well.. even I know that GOD did not die for us, JESUS did... and all of her spewing pissed off my husband... he took great offense to what she was saying.
I am weary...
I am tired.. so very, very tired.
My marriage is drifting away from me, and I don;t know how to get it back.
I find myself closing myself off from everyone around me, including him. I KNOW I am doing it, it is like looking at myself through a strangers eyes... but I can not STOP myself from doing it.
Maybe I don'twant to.
Maybe the wall is back up to prevent myself from hurting further.
All I DO know is.. I HATE my life the way it is right now.
I feel so totally lost, and I can't reach my destination because I have no map...
One day I am UP, the next minute it is almost like someone kicked me in the stomach, and I am down on the ground.. all of this up and down is too much for me to handle.
So.. I have numbed myself by closing myself off from everyone, and everything. It is just... easier.
So.. here I am whining again... imagine that. No wonder no one reads this damned thing... I wouldn't either !!!!!!!!
posted by Cynnie01 @ 12:10 AM
2 Comments:
I can see how you would feel as though you are being punished for something. I can only imagine how much you you have been looking forward to a visit from your brother over the holidays, but this isn't about anything that you have done or haven't done.
Your brother messed up big time, and now he is going to deal with the consequences. It sucks, and you are being affected too. Maybe this will be a blessing (for him) in the long run. He won't have to worry about anyone catching up with him, and once this is dealt with, maybe he will have a better chance at seeing the kids. It's not YOUR fault though.
As for HER - is she spewing out crap on her blog? Is she phoning you? She is about the dullest knive in teh drawer, and I wouldn't worry too much about anything that she says/writes. You need to cut her out of your lives completely. Don't let that tool know that she is bothering you. That is what she wants.
I don't know what to say about everything else. There have been times when Shawn and I have been SOOO far apart..Times when I thought that we would never mend the rift between us. (oh, the stories that I could tell!) We always seem to work things out in the end.
I hope that you do, too. I am praying for you every night. I wish that I could do more, but just know that I am thinking of you, and you are not alone.
Biddie xx
Ooops. The dullest KNIFE in the drawer, I meant to say. Doesn't make me look too sharp, does it :)
Post a Comment
<< Home