Trying....
I am trying to be thankful.. for what I DO have. But DAMN... it is SO hard when all you see is what you are facing.Eviction, shut offs, reposessions of our cars, and no hopeful job prospects anywhere.
I KNOW I have a wonderful family, a great husband ( now ), and children I am extremely proud of.
But how do I get past the rest of it, and SEE what I DO have ?
My husband took a part time ( we thought it would be full time ) MINIMUM wage job, that might pay one or two bills and a few groceries, but thats IT. How are we ever going to climb out of this hole we find ourselves in ?
I pray to God a million times a day...for Him to lead us to where we are supposed to be, does God REALLY want to see us homeless ? Does He want us to lose EVERYTHING we have ?
My husband has already lost his dignity, sense of self worth, and his honor... and I have lost my faith in this world we live in.
Yes, we have each other, yes we have love.. but that isn't going to feed us or keep a roof over our heads. Love isn't going to prevent the loan companies from taking our cars, or shutting off our utilities.
We have recieved help from local Churches for our gas bill twice to prevent shut off, but they are becoming financially strapped with so many that are in the same position that we are.
I look in the papers for myself, I spend hours a day looking on line for work for my husband. Between the two of us, we have probably sent well over 200 resumes for him. WHY THE HELL HAS NO ONE OFFERED HIM A JOB ????????
It isn't like he is unskilled, or lazy, or stupid. The one drawback is he has NO degree !!!! 23 years of experience all of a sudden don't seem to count for shit.
NEVER, since I have been with him, has he ever had trouble finding a job. And only once before now, has he been turned down for a job he has interviewed for.
He is losing all hope.. and we are so scared.
I am trying so damned hard to hold it all together... but I am having a difficult time even caring about the Holidays this year. If it wasn't for our son, we wouldn't even put up our tree...
I just do not understand why this is happening to us. We are good, honest people.. we don;t cheat the system, we have paid into the system for years.... but we can get nothing out of it.
But, despite how I am feeling.. I wish all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving.. give thanks for what you have... you never know when it will all be taken away....
posted by Cynnie01 @ 12:13 PM
1 Comments:
I am feeling the same way about the holidays. I can't imagine how we will cope....We are paying off our back rent, and that is GREAT, BUT, we can't afford to pay for food most weeks b/c we are apying it off. I keep thinking that at least we won't be homeless, but that doesn't do you much good when you are starving....
What about some jobs acroos the border? I really don't know how it works, but can you work here in Canada? You are close to the border, right? I keep hearing about all of the work in Windsor. Shawn keeps saying that he wants to head that way for work, but it is about 4 hours away from us, and we have no car.
I am praying for you every night. I hope that your husband finds something else.
Have you thought about baysitting/daycare? I have done that so many times over the years when we have been stuck. It has never made me rich, but it has helped out.
We have sold everything that we could, too, to pay the bills. One year, I had a birthday party booked at a restaurant for Jessie's 10th (?) birthday, and then Shawn got laid off. I sold my engagement ring to pay for it. She has no idea, I told her that I lost it. I wish that I had...The insurance would have covered it :)
I try to remember that these are just THINGS, you know? I am terribly into THINGS, but still, sometimes, it still stings..watching everything that you have worked for disappear.
I hope that you have a wonderful Thanksgiving. I'll be thinging of you :)
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