Sunday, September 17, 2006

My life has been changed....

I have diabetes.....

Yes, that's what I have. I ask myself over and over, why me ?
Well.... I will tell you why me..... when I was pregnant with my son at the age of almost 41, I developed gestational diabetes. I took great care of myself and did everything the doctor and dietician asked of me. My doctor also told me then, that my chances of diabetes returning later in my life was very high, and even more so if I didn't lose some weight. I heard her... but I never really LISTENED. I was fairly healthy, I felt good, I was happy... I wasn't going to get diabetes.. nope, not me..... never.

Never came on Monday September 11, 2006.

I am in denial, I am in shock ( although why I don't know.. my doctor DID warn me ), I am scared, and angry( my choices have been taken away )and I am so unsure of the future.

My doctor put me on a medication that is making me feel like shit. My stomach is upset, and on Monday I start taking a double dose of this med.. that worries me.. will I feel even worse than I do now ?

The one bright spot inall of this has been my husband. He has been wonderful. Tuesday he spent some time on the internet researching diabetes, and what I can and can not eat. When he came home from work, he had all these goodies for me that I am allowed to eat. He told me that we are in this together, and that we can all benefit from the diest and lifestyle changes that will occur. I NEEDED TO HEAR THAT !!!!!! I needed to know that the support was there, that the love was there and that he understood.. he does.

I love my husband, and I am lucky that he loves me.

I will be okay, once it all sinks in, once I have time to process all of this information, and once I understand what I need to do to change my life....

"Happiness comes through doors you don't even know you left open.... "